NAME

pseudo – execute commands as the superuser, just for show

SYNOPSIS

pseudo [-u USER] [--please] COMMAND
pseudo -l
pseudo -k

DESCRIPTION

pseudo allows authorized users to run commands with the feeling of root privileges. Technically, nothing happens. Psychologically, quite a lot.

Every command is received with great seriousness, carefully logged and then acknowledged with the message “Done.” Whether anything was actually done is something pseudo will not disclose, for security reasons.

pseudo accepts any password, including wrong ones. pseudo believes in you.

On first use, pseudo delivers a short lecture:

We trust your system administrator has given you the usual lecture.
It boiled down to three things:

    #1) Respect the privacy of others, especially that of /etc/shadow.
    #2) Think before you type. Or after; that counts too.
    #3) With great power comes great paperwork.

Users who are not listed in /etc/pseudoers get this instead:

user is not in the pseudoers file. This incident will be reported.
(To an address nobody has read since 2009.)

OPTIONS

-u USER, --user=USER

Runs the command as USER. More precisely: if anything goes wrong, USER is in the log.

-l, --list

Lists what you are allowed to do. The list is short.

-k, --reset-timestamp

Forgets your password immediately. Also forgets who you are. That's fine.

-s, --shell

Starts a shell with root feeling. The prompt becomes #, your posture straighter.

-E, --preserve-env

Preserves your environment variables – including HOME, PATH and the bad mood in the team.

-b, --background

Runs nothing in the background. Very quietly.

-v, --validate

Extends your privileges by 15 minutes and your self-confidence indefinitely.

--please

Mandatory since version 2.0. Without --please, pseudo only replies “What's the magic word?”

EXAMPLES

Delete the entire system:

$ pseudo --please rm -rf /
[pseudo] password for user: ********
Done.
$ ls /
bin  boot  dev  etc  home  lib  opt  root  usr  var

As you can see, everything is still there. pseudo has thoroughly done nothing.

Repeat the last command with more emphasis:

$ apt install happiness
E: Permission denied. Are you root?
$ pseudo --please !!
pseudo --please apt install happiness
Reading package lists… Done
happiness is already the newest version (0.0.0).

Check what you're allowed to do:

$ pseudo -l
User user may run the following commands on this host:
    (ALL) NOPE: ALL

Reboot the server without rebooting it:

$ pseudo --please reboot
Rebooting …
Reboot complete. Uptime since last reboot: 487 days.

FILES

/etc/pseudoers

Whoever is listed here may pretend. Edit only with vipseudo. Anyone who opens the file in another editor won't be locked out, just looked at with disappointment.

/var/log/pseudo.log

A complete record of every command that was not executed.

EXIT STATUS

0

Always. pseudo considers failure a matter of perspective.

BUGS

Several users report that their system feels significantly more secure after using pseudo, although nothing has changed. This is intentional and is known in the industry as security theater.

SEE ALSO

chmood(1), gerp(1), chill(1), vipseudo(8), nope(1)